This column has long tried to observe the separation of church and home plate. But given that there are no atheists in foxholes or among those in 1-for-20 slumps, there are exceptions.
Thus we quote from a missive sent by Father Tom Mangieri of West Milford, N.J.: “Being a priest I appreciate the value of peace and quiet — but never so much as when ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball has ended and Jessica Mendoza and A-Rod are finally done talking and talking and talking …”
For a starker assessment, we turn to reader Jack Baroody: “I am right now trying to watch ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. I have given my belt and shoe laces to my wife.”
Apparently ESPN doesn’t believe us. It spends a ton in rights fees, salaries and production costs to create the most annoying, cloying, obnoxious telecasts — after cherry-picking the games it chooses to destroy.
Alex Rodriguez, on Sunday after just the fifth batter of Yankees-Red Sox (played in what smug, smarmy play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian cleverly referred to as “The Fens”), actually contradicted himself in consecutive sentences, when that generally takes a few minutes, perhaps a side-symptom of the PED use that brought him fame, fortune, Fox and Disney’s ESPN.
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“Here in the South,” writes reader Bill Hoyt, “they say,…
Rafael Devers hit a hard grounder to second baseman Gleyber Torres, who was playing a few feet into right field. Torres swiped at the ball and missed it.
With that, Rodriguez opined that Torres has the skills of a gold glover, but again showed his inclination toward “lackadaisical” fielding.
The play was ruled an error, which fully met with Rodriguez’s assessment, but instead led to his firm, 180-degree declaration that it should have been scored a hit because it was hit hard. Yes, Father, let us pray.
In a few minutes, ESPN inserted tape of Angels rookie Matt Thaiss hitting a game-ending home run against the Orioles. It looked as if center fielder Stevie Wilkerson could or would make a play on the ball — that it would be close — but as the ball descended ESPN covered the entire view with a graphic.
Vasgersian is one of those who seem to lie awake at night trying to come up with hip, pithy, long-form and silly expressions, which isn’t a bad idea, as those are the ones most likely to be parroted and perpetuated. NBC golf host Dan Hicks is not the first to say, “Safely in the hole.”
So in the sixth inning of Yanks-Red Sox, after Gio Urshela hit a double over center fielder Jackie Bradley Jr.’s head, Vasgersian embroidered the self-evident with, “Bradley turns his numbers to the infield and plays it off the wall.” Ugh.
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Throughout the game, Mendoza was reliably there to explain and describe every pitch and why it was or wasn’t a strike, occasionally relying on ESPN’s occasionally correct and always intrusive live artificial-additive K-zone box.
But the big, scripted moment of the telecast arrived when Jennifer Lopez entered the booth along with a birthday cake for Alex Rodriguez. Cue the forced laughter.
But again, this, and worse, is how it has been every Sunday night for the past two years, thus ESPN’s shot-callers are obviously under the impression that we love it all when I’ve never encountered more overwhelming and specific reader discontent with what ESPN does to baseball games.
In fact, the only telecasts that rival real fans’ disapproval are those of ESPN’s other big-ticket property, “Monday Night Football.”
Even Father Mangieri might concede that turning the other cheek is not an option.
Managing to relieve all chance of victory
If you were a baseball fan just released from a gulag after 20 years and the first game you saw was Wednesday’s Diamondbacks-Yankees, you’d have hollered that Aaron Boone was trying to throw the game!
Then you’d have hollered that opposing manger Torey Lovullo was trying to throw the game!
Boone, with the Yanks up, 2-0, pulled Masahiro Tanaka with none out in the fifth, after 82 pitches. Of course he did. After all, the first two batters of the inning had singled, the second a dink to right.
So in comes Chad Green and soon the Yanks are down, 3-2.
But Lovullo showed Boone. He pulled reliever Yoan Lopez with two out in the seventh. Lopez had faced five, retiring all of them, two on strikeouts. But the two relievers who followed couldn’t get one out before Austin Romine hit a two-run homer to make the Yanks winners.
Such is modern “Game Has Changed” baseball. In both cases, it was a shame both couldn’t lose; they tried so hard.
And on YES, Ryan Ruocco and Paul O’Neill didn’t think enough about it to mention it.
The race between Rob Manfred and Roger Goodell to win “Most Full of It” is intense. Last Saturday, despite Manfred’s solemn declaration that kids are MLB’s top priority, there was not one 1 p.m. game scheduled. The earliest start was 3 p.m.
The Yankees played at the Red Sox at 4:15 p.m. for Fox money and the Mets, who no longer even schedule Saturday afternoon games, played at home and at night.
This Saturday? There are just two 1 p.m. starts. The rest begin no earlier than 6:10 p.m.
You can call them Rays or you can call them Jays:
Sunday, the Rays won 10-9 over the Jays, in a game with the DH. The Rays had 10 hits, but 17 strikeouts against six pitchers.
Two nights later in Boston, the Rays won 10-9 over the Red Sox. The Rays struck out 15 times against seven pitchers to make it 58 strikeouts over four consecutive games!
Total pitchers, Tuesday: 14. Time of the game, on a weeknight: 4:05.
Jays fans Marc’ newest Met as me-first
Our embedded Toronto readers warn that, in Marcus Stroman, the Mets have acquired a fellow who craves attention a la Odell Beckham Jr., and also trash-talks opponents, explaining, “I’m just being myself.” Ah, but now with an NL team, Stroman has to bat.
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Manfred Meatballs Stat of the Week: With unconcealed astonishment, Gary Cohen noted on SNY that the 36-71 Orioles broke a major league record by hitting at least two home runs in 10 consecutive games. They’ve also allowed a record five or more home runs in 10 games.
Why no mention from Cohen or Keith Hernandez that Joginson Cano jogged into an infield double play Sunday? Perhaps they felt it would be redundant. Yesterday, Cohen did note that Cano made an easy play out of a potentially difficult one by jogging to first.
You can always tell when the Mets wave the white flag because it coincides with when they waive ticket fees, also known as sucker-punches.
Reader Charles Fowler: “The ticket price is the ticket price? Now that’s a savings never before heard of!”